What’s your definition of being in love? That was the question I asked users on Instagram.
Some of the answers I received were:
- When almost nothing can upset you anymore.
- Feeling butterflies in your belly.
- Waking up with that stupid smile on your face.
- The best f*cking feeling in the whole world. Beware, it hurts, though.
- Craving “more” of and with that person.
- Impatience and nothing can hold you back.
One statement that sticks is: Beware, it hurts, though.
Being in Love! Such an intense experience. It can be heaven on earth, but it also can feel like hell when it’s over.
Can it really be painful?
The majority might say that it hurts. This belief is based on personal past experiences, the stories we hear, or the movies we watch. I’ve also experienced pain from “being in love” many moons ago. I noticed many clients saying it during workshops or mentoring sessions when we try to redefine relationships.
Is it really Love that’s causing the pain, or is it our interpretation of love?
By redefining the experience of BEING IN LOVE, I felt massive relief on my journey to inner peace. I hope that the following words might serve you as well in the same context.
What happens when we ARE IN LOVE?
“Being IN love” is a state of being. It’s not something you do, nor is it something you feel. It is something you are. Therefore it’s called “BEING in Love.”
Being in love equals being fully present. In other words, being aligned with our true selves. It also means that all illusionary problems that are invented by the mind fade away. This state of presence can be inspired by another person, an activity, or by nature itself. Literally, anything can inspire this state of being in us, if we are open enough to allow it.
Why does Being in Love hurt?
The mistake we often make is attaching this experience to be dependent on something outside ourselves. Therefore, we misunderstand the concept of being in love with someone.
You are in love with someone in the same way you are with someone in the same room. Both of you share the present moment. It doesn’t mean that you are in Love “to(wards) someone” or because of someone.
It’s a co-created moment, and you can share that presence with anything. Nothing is required to be IN love. It’s entirely up to you. By surrendering to the present moment, you are in love with existence itself.
Why is it hard to fall in love?
Our attention is merely on avoiding being hurt. These tiny moments of inspiration that might help us to surrender to the present moment pass unnoticed because our mind is busy scanning for possible threats.
What if the pain never came from love itself, but from you resisting falling in love?
What if falling and staying in love is easy?
Who would you be, feel, and behave if the above is true?
We call it falling in love because you have to surrender by giving up control. Let go of past experiences and jump.
Dare to fall and love will catch you!